Equal Opportunity Affairs: Infidelity and The Web of Shame

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Equal Opportunity Affairs: Infidelity and the Web of Shame. Infidelity & affairs contribute to shame, and the inner critic.The Inner Critic For most of my clients, affairs start innocently enough. They are equal opportunity affairs –These situations happen to both men and women in equal proportions. Many clients tell me, “I can’t believe this happened to me.” These situations often …

The Inner Critic, Perfectionism and Shame

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THE INNER CRITIC, SHAME and PERFECTIONISM Perfectionism and shame sometimes take the shape of an Inner Critic. You know that voice? The one inside your head that tells you that “You’re not good enough.” The one that tries to make you do everything perfectly and never make mistakes? The one who insisted that getting a few B’s or C’s in …

Supportive Counseling vs. Going it Solo

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COUNSELING & SUPPORT VS. “THE LONE RANGER” Our stubbornly independent “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” culture in the US, can help us grow to be self-sufficient, successful human beings. However, it can also lead to our downfall. “We stumble over our strengths, not our weaknesses.” We aren’t supposed to figure out everything on our own & be a Lone …

An Empath and A Narcissist

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Are you an empath?  Do you find yourself in the same types of unhealthy relationships?  Let’s take a look at what’s really going on….. “Give, give, give some more & then give up.”  Does this sound familiar?  Often, empaths stumble on their own strengths.  Kindness, generosity, helpfulness & compassion can become depleting & detrimental to the empath’s emotional health and …

New Year’s De-Resolutions..

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It seems to me that the New Year’s Resolutions so eagerly made on January 1st, and quickly forgotten and broken, leaving their owners feeling guilty…..like a failure….something we use to “beat ourself up” instead of the intended, constructive purpose.   If we must make a resolution, how about we reverse the damage, and learn to be okay with our brokenness, …

Self-Love & Compassion

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Loving others, loving myself, loving God. We can’t offer others what we first haven’t offered to ourself. It is critical to demonstrate self-love & compassion. As Kahlil Gibran eloquently state, “And God said, Love your Enemy. And I obeyed and loved myself.” Often, we don’t learn to love ourself well, in our family of origin.  Learning to love ourself as …