THE INNER CRITIC, SHAME and PERFECTIONISM
Perfectionism and shame sometimes take the shape of an Inner Critic.
You know that voice? The one inside your head that tells you that “You’re not good enough.”
The one that tries to make you do everything perfectly and never make mistakes? The one who insisted that getting a few B’s or C’s in college would be your downfall? The voice that contributes to your anxiety, fear, depression & shame?
Often, this voice starts in childhood. It can sound like the voice of a critical parent, or a relative. As an adult, you don’t have to believe “the voice.” You can become aware of this critical voice every time it makes an appearance in your mind. You can even engage with it, “What are you trying to tell me?” Maybe you can even give it a name, and try to befriend this critical, worried, fearful part of yourself. You can talk back to it. You don’t have to believe its’ lies.
Instead of trying to get this critical voice to “go away,” you want to offer it compassion. It is trying to help or protect us in some way. Often it served a useful function when you were a child. The Inner Critic can inspire us to do better; it serves a purpose & it can be helpful at times.
Other times, it can lead to depression, shame, even suicide & despair.
If you feel this way, please contact me for a FREE 20-30 minute consultation. It is important to reach out for help, guidance, & support in a safe counseling relationship. This is how we are wired to heal; in safe relationships, not in isolation.
Once you become aware of your inner critic, there are steps we can take together to help you heal, and to help integrate this part of yourself, and even appreciate its’ protective role, and start to utilize its’ skills & redefine its’ role in your life.